November 1981 kicks off with Bo Derek and the Time Bandits

The premise is simple, but the task is not. Every single movie released in the United States during the 1980s, reviewed in chronological order, then published month by month.

Buckle up, because this is The Last ‘80s Newsletter You’ll Ever Need…

NOVEMBER

First-class US mail went up from 18 to 20 cents.

Olivia Newton-John’s single “Physical” went to #1, where it stayed for the next 10 straight weeks.

“Bear” Bryant won his 315th game to become college football’s winningest coach.

And on November 30, John Holmes was arrested in Miami, FL, on fugitive charges related to the Wonderland murders, later portrayed so vividly in Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights.

The first big holiday break of the school year arrived, and I had one of my favorite film experiences of the year. Considering how few new films were released this month, the odds of going to see a classic seemed pretty slim, but that’s the way film works. You never know when you’re going to see the thing that knocks you flat or rewires you. That’s why I am eternally optimistic, even during what we think of as “dump months.” Sometimes, studios don’t know what they have until the audience tells them.

This was not one of the years we spent Thanksgiving with the extended family, and it’s funny how I use movies to help me pin down some of those memories. So many of the things I did in childhood blend together now. There were holiday traditions that exist as one big blur for me, sometimes at our home, sometimes at the homes of my grandmothers. When the holidays hit, I was able to get three or four trips to the theater out of my family, depending on what was playing in theaters. This year, we were at home in Chattanooga, and I know that because I remember where I saw Time Bandits and Ragtime specifically.

Keep in mind that a good deal of what was out in October was just starting to roll out into secondary markets, and Chattanooga was right on the cusp. Atlanta would get special engagement films a week before us sometimes, but even they weren’t getting them the same day as New York and Los Angeles. It drove me crazy living in a place where I know we weren’t going to be the ones who got something when the trailer said “Special limited engagements.” We were whatever the next size market down was. Same thing with Tampa when I lived there. We were close to a big market, but not quite a big market.

I spent much of my November trips to the theater getting worked up about what was coming in December. There were posters and trailers and magazine stories about films like Heartbeeps and Modern Problems and Ghost Story, and I tracked down a copy of Thomas Berger’s novel Neighbors because I was positively rabid to know what to expect from a new Belushi/Aykroyd film. One of the strangest things that had me hyped up was a sheet music magazine that we were subscribed to because of my ongoing piano lessons. They did a big special issue about Pennies From Heaven, with the sheet music for many of the standards in the film, and I was fascinated by it.

That’s all next month, though, and while I was definitely getting hyped up for those films, I had to get through November first, and man, the pickings were slim. Beyond that, this first weekend of the month is a real snapshot of the way social attitudes at the time allowed for some pretty heinous shit to get played in theaters, while the second weekend feels like a more interesting mix of things. And before you think I'm exaggerating, I want you to really consider these first three films, each one disgusting in a completely different and unpleasant way...

NOVEMBER 6

Circle of Two aka Obsession
Tatum O’Neal, Norma Dell’Agnese, Donann Cavin, Elan Ross Gibson, Maggie Morris, Richard Burton, Larry Ewashen, Robin Gammell, Patricia Collins, Michael Wincott, Daisy White, George Bourne Sr., Bibi Caspari, Gordon Jocelyn, Brendan McKane, A. Frank Ruffo, Morison Bock, Yanka Van Der Kolk, Nuala Fitzgerald, Mack Dolgy, Leo Leyden, Leslie Carlson, Kate Reid, Patrick Patterson, Pam Hyatt, Doug Smith, Grace Stevens, Jimmy Leone, Elias Zarou
cinematography by Laszlo George
music by Barnard Hoffer
screenplay by Thomas Hedley
based on the novel A Lesson In Love by Marie-Terese Baird
produced by Henk Van der Kolk
directed by Jules Dassin
Rated PG
1 hr 46 mins

An artist in his 60s falls in love with a 16 year old girl. That’s pretty much it.

It’s one thing when a great filmmaker loses their fastball over time so their final movie just feels tired. It’s another thing when they wrap their career up with a despicable misfire that feels like the kind of thing better left unsaid.